Over the weekend I attended a Hero Conference in Brighton, Michigan with my kids. I heard some amazing speakers and was challenged to think harder about who I was and why I was making the choices that I am making in life. I was challenged not only to re-evaluate myself, but to not be ashamed of the “weaknesses” I found in myself (the ones I’ve been trying to hide) because those weaknesses could actually be my strengths – the reasons that I choose to do the things I do every day.
So last night, I decided to sit down and try to write out my personal story – why I decided to start writing this blog several years back and why I continue to throw myself out the door every day and into countless adventures even though it’s not always easy and sometimes quite frightening.
This snippet has now become my “About Me” page intro – but I also wanted to share my story with those of you who have been around for awhile. Thanks for reading – I hope you’ll choose to stay around for what’s to come.
Hi! I’m Mary Moore. I’m a mom. I’m a wanderer. I am a self proclaimed writer with a background in food marketing. I am also a not so self proclaimed worry wort. I have a love/hate relationship with airplanes and I drink way to much coffee every day to just keep my head above water.
The worrier part of me didn’t start until I had my two kids – before that, most would have called me an adventurer – a free spirit. In fact, my high school friends called me “Scary Mary” because they never actually knew what crazy thing I was going to do next. I craved adventure! After high school ended I marched off all alone to college without knowing a single soul on campus. I loved that I could meet someone new every day. I had a very diverse set of friends because I found change in people and places exhilarating.
I married young – right after college graduation and my babies came soon after. I quickly fell in love with the role of being a mom and decided that staying home to raise them was best for our family. I loved it but I also noticed that over the years of being at home I was changing. Some changes were for the better, some not so much – this is when the worrying started.
I was told that “Mom’s don’t travel – they bake cookies”.
Someday, I told myself, I would get back to seeing the world – I would get back to being myself.
As the years went by, I found myself waiting and longing for the “someday” and missing out on the wonderfulness of “today”. The more time I spent at home, the more I began to see the world that I once loved as evil and dangerous. Daily panic attacks became my norm. I struggled with the conflict of being the perfect mom or following my dreams – because I didn’t think I could have both. The pressure was unbearable. Then I broke – I knew that I couldn’t keep pushing life away waiting for it to happen. I needed new air, new sights and wanted to meet new people. I realized that getting married and having kids didn’t mean that I had to fit into the role of the perfect 50’s wife – I could still be the imperfect me. Because what makes us weird makes us wonderful and what makes us weak also is what makes us strong, right Dave Rendall? I realized that I needed to be myself and to keep going after my dreams – and that I could still be a good mom doing it.
I decided to take the 50’s representation of a “perfect mother” and transform it into what I felt a good mom looked like. I still wanted to raise my children in a very hand’s on way, but I wanted to do it in a way that kept who I was a part of it. I mean let’s be honest, I love baking homemade chocolate chip cookies – I just like doing it in a new state every time.
Since starting on this weird journey to find myself again ( I know, totally cliche), I have met some truly amazing people, realized my own strength in traveling alone, found happiness in my passion and gained more control over my worry. What’s better yet, I have introduced my kids to a whole new world of following their dreams and a realization that we are just a small droplet in an ocean of cultures, foods, traditions and lifestyles.
I have decided not to let other people decide my life for me – or put me in a box of perfection. I am who I am – and I can’t wait to share my daily stories of motherhood, travel and adventure with you.
I am also working on starting a more personal vlog on YouTube – be sure to subscribe if you want to watch me make a fool of myself – cuz I’m ready to get real about what motherhood re-defined looks like.
Thanks loves! I appreciate each and every one of you.